Stinking thinking creates a cloud of green gas inside the confines of your mind! Like a villain, it has the potential to drain your life of what you desire.
Stinking thinking truly has no color or form. However, the invisible power it holds over your life is bold and strong. It guides and directs your actions every moment of every day. Stinking thinking disguises itself and keeps you on the conveyor belt of comfort.
This post is all about How to Completely Change Stinking Thinking.
Stinking Thinking
What is Stinking Thinking?
Albert Ellis, an American psychologist, and psychotherapist was “a stubborn and pronounced problem-solver” as a child. Later, during his counseling career, he used these problem-solving skills to confront his clients about their beliefs and thinking (The Albert Ellis Institute). Based on his ideas, he shared whether the belief was rational or not. Most likely, Dr. Ellis was the first to help others identify stinking thinking.
Stinking thinking can be described as thoughts that do not take you closer to where you want to be. Certainly, these thoughts hold your life captive and I imagine they roar with laughter, but you can be the superhero of your mind and completely change stinking thinking.
Early Thinking
Raised in a home with alcoholism, addiction, and lots of love, my understanding of appropriate responsibilities, experiencing feelings, and living in a “normal” environment were distorted. Whereas many of my friends were exposed to family life with shared responsibilities, talking about and expressing feelings, and living in a natural rhythm of life.
Although my school years were filled with confusion, my smile and personality were shared freely with those around me and friendships brought delight, laughter, and opportunities to help me create positivity in my life. My thinking was right on track as a teenager. For example, the strength and courage to move away from home and become the first college graduate, made me feel unstoppable.
Your experiences in childhood may be similar to mine, even if you were raised in a “functional” home. Most children learn about responsibilities and friendships and begin to lean into a natural pattern of “thinking” about themselves. Teenage years tend to be the most awkward when all of us are figuring out who we are, how we fit in, and where we may be headed in life.
As you reflect back on childhood, what thinking patterns stick out to you the most?
Masked in Perfectionism
It wasn’t until my late 40s that I began to clearly understand the struggles of stinking thinking. My superhero cape was sagging because the masks of perfectionism began weighing on my heart and mind. Not to mention, the superhero roles of excelling student, committed wife, dedicated employee, stay-at-home mom, organization queen, clean freak, and achiever of all goals were creating chaos in my life.
On the outside, I was a motivated adult who seemed to “have it all together.” My smile shared joy, my heart was full of gratitude, and my thoughts always turned toward the positive. What’s stinking about that?
Yet, on the inside, frustration consumed me because so many things out of my control seemed to be a reflection of me. Or at least, that was my perception. My self-worth was covered in “lack.” And the stinking thinking vomited itself out of me – feelings of “not enough,” spilled into my every day life with mood swings, less joy, and higher expectations of myself and others. The superhero in me was zapped. Being a superhero was exhausting!
There are so many pieces to the superhero costume. Unloveable, unworthy, fat, ugly, and stupid are a handful of descriptions. In other words, these beliefs create opportunity after opportunity for the stinking thinking villain.
What is your greatest stinking thinking mask?
A Lifeline
With my cape and “have it all together” costume in place, I walked into a room filled with laughter and people. And although I only knew a few, the genuine interest of those surrounding me provided a lifeline I had no idea was missing. My outgoing nature hid any insecurities erupting internally. I experienced celebration for others, recognition of all kinds, and a teeny, tiny glimmer of hope.
Looking back, the deflated superhero in me saw the celebration as a means to be recognized and valued. Stinking thinking created desperation. And the only superpower tool I knew was achievement and validation from others. I had yet to unlock the power of self-love and self-validation.
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Who or what has been a lifeline for you?
Stinking Thinking Obstacle
As long as your heart is beating, stinking thinking has an opportunity to decay your life. Let’s face it, the villain is constantly lurking in the shadows, ready to take you down at the most unexpected moment. Stinking thinking is the greatest obstacle you will overcome every day.
For me, I truly believed my thinking was positive. My vibes were uplifting, I looked at challenges from a glass-half-full perspective, and gratitude constantly spilled from my heart and mouth. Yet, none of these incredible characteristics had anything to do with my true thought patterns.
Be Gone Stinking Thinking
Personal Growth
Personal growth is a process of developing new skills, attitudes, responses, or actions that may have a positive impact on your life (Berkeley Well-Being Institute). Furthermore, personal growth can increase your overall well-being. Personal growth is journey unique to you. Your journey will take you places designed for your life, likewise, my journey will take me places designed for my life.
Being an avid reader and a perfectionist might just be the perfect one, two punch to begin the growth journey! Unfortunately, for me, I realized I was reading materials for growth, with an underlying control issue of fixing “not enough.” As a reminder, “not enough” is one of the biggest stinking thinking villains to be alive!
A personal growth journey includes books, podcasts, videos, in-person events, and online training. All of these are secret weapons to keep stinking thinking at bay. These opportunities have allowed me to “think” differently, approach learning with curiosity instead of fixing myself or others, and implement new ideas, beliefs, and actions to move me closer to what I want in life. Most importantly, this journey has brought me to self-love and self-validation.
Growth began rapidly firing when I surrounded myself with other growth-minded people. Conversations unfolded that challenged my thoughts and book studies allowed me to learn other people’s interpretations and perspectives. In-person events provided an opportunity to feel the energy of love, joy, confidence, and abundance and open my mind wider to what was available for my life.
Stinking Thinking Killers (Book List, Podcasts, Events)
Here are a few secret weapons to promote your superhero mind transformation!
Books:
- Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis
- Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
- Untamed by Glennon Doyle
Podcasts:
- Achieve Your Goals With Hal Elrod
- The Ed Mylett Show
- We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle
Events:
You have the ability to transform yourself into your own new superhero by replacing your stinking thinking with new thoughts and ideas. Personal growth is your key to flying high, with your cape flapping in the wind!
This post was all about How to Completely Change Stinking Thinking.
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